Of love and feelings : from husband to wife : Two
Of love and feelings
From husband to wife
So many days have elapsed; so many years have passed so quickly since we have known each other. We are both approaching this fatal old age where we have nothing to hope if not waiting our lives to come to an end. A life that we must fill with wealth in our feelings, wealth in the commitment, in the passion, in the dedication, in fidelity, wealth in the search of each other, in the amplification of a love that, in most cases, tends to decrease in intensity, to deteriorate to make us, at last, feel a certain indifference to each other when we can no more accept the other by her or his side. What is important for me in the future is to save this feverish feeling which is decreasing while time passes by.
I do not want to have a future of grandiose, of luxury, of exuberance, nor of wealth with a heart empty of any feeling, corrupted by the facilities that life offers to us and spoil by the links that we should accept while enduring a life of debauchery that many people take pleasure to conduct. I hope for a comfortable life where many opportunities will be given to us to find ourselves together in order to fulfill this existence next to the other, faithful companion of an existence which has no renewal.
Once the life is complete, there is nothing left at the back than a low smoke that will dissipate very soon. The real wealth on earth is life itself. All other things are only optional. In seeking sometimes to do too much you can only spoil an entire life. Fortunately, we are not of this type of people who are thirsty of wealth, fortune, earnings, and who are ready to do anything to accomplish their dream.
I think that we are living a life, if not exceptional, at least exemplary, by the manner in which we behave ourselves toward the society and particularly toward the family. You know very well the breach that I have always tried to keep in the links that we should have with the family. This breach, if I wish it, is to bring a good family harmony, where there exists neither jealousy nor hatred, or envy, or disagreement. I have always had respect for the family, regardless to any social condition. I have always tried to understand their situation despite that it is not easy to understand mine, but I have never ceased to ask myself the question if the family at least tried to understand ours. I think that the best way to live is to live on our own interests. Up to now we have not done it. There is in the world so much injustice that it is neither pleasant nor tolerable to be dupe. I think that we have the virtues which give us the courage to deploy our forces to the benefits of others. God is just. I know that we will be rewarded one day. I also know that God would protect us, because we are not that kind of person who fled their responsibilities. We keep no grudge, nor are we trying to cause harm to others by the way we try to lead our life.
As we wish it, maybe it is too much to say. Instead, I will almost say that we conduct our lives as we had to. I also wish that you stay at home, you prepare the meals, wait for me, that you make yourself beautiful, that you rested, that you have more time to think of me. But I am afraid that you shall not adapt yourself to this kind of life. The time you spend to wait would be so long that you can quickly feel tired. You are accustomed now to a life full of events and this will cause a handicap to you. And then the fact that you have nothing to do would make you nervous, jealous and all a mixture of unpleasant and difficult character. It would be appropriate that we have an activity belonging to us, which we can manage as we wish and which will be our principal concern in our life and for our future. If God wants, a day our wishes will be realized. I also wish a child who could perhaps follow the task we have begun. I would like that you consult a doctor to be sure of your health. I am definitely touched by the feelings you shown to me with frankness in the way you talk to me last time. I am thankful to you and would like to see this love that you have for me intensified and grow over the years.
I believe so much in what you say to me that I will have no courage to cause any wrong to you and not to act the way you wish. I would love you as much as you love me, even more to reward you of the warm love you have for me. I have had no other choice but to love you, only you till my death.